My Book Club Disasters

I have always wanted to join a book club, well I can tick that off my bucket list now. Unfortunately I haven’t had a good experience.

I think maybe it was something I left until it was too late, maybe I should have joined one when I was younger? The first thing I noticed was that a lot of the members where younger than me. There were a some that were my age (maybe) but we had such different views and mine were based a lot on my age, not just the books.

Book Club One

I was so excited, a real book club with real people where we could just go and talk about our books. I called beforehand and asked if the venue was wheelchair friendly. They said yes, we have steps but we also have ramps. (urgh ramps, some wheelchair users make them look easy, but I really hate them.) But, I went ahead anyway.

I had to get the ex to take me by car as even though it was in driveable distance myself I can’t get the wheelchair out of the car without help. We got there and there was nowhere to park. The actual cafe where the club was being held was down a non driveable street. My ex doesn’t really take notice of this though and he drove right to the door sticking up my disability blue badge and getting me out of the car. He might not care, but I still feel embarrassed.

Then came the ramps. He had to go inside and ask for help. We had a ramp put down for help up the first steps, then double whammy, the book club was held in a room which was down a further step, so the ramp had to be used again. Once in the room I was ‘trapped.’ I couldn’t go to the toilet or to fetch a drink. Not without asking for help, and that’s not something I’m very good at. Especially when I see people having to struggle with the ramps.

So far, I’ve just talked about my struggle to get in and out of the book club but it did make a big difference to my experience.

Once inside I actually enjoyed talking books, we were totally engrossed and time passed quickly. I really enjoyed it. After a few more visits I had to decide whether the pain of getting in and out, I was often first to arrive and last to leave to cause least disruption to everyone else, was worth it.

Book Club Two

I asked and was offered a place at another nearby book club with better access. And it was, no ramps, I was able to reach the drinks counter and go to the toilet. But the parking was still a pain, and I had to get ex to take me, and he made it feel like I was a nuisance. If only I could get my wheelchair out myself. But then I’d have still had the issue with parking. I didn’t last long at that book club either.

There was another wheelchair user there too, which you think would make me feel more comfortable, but she was so much more comfortable in her wheelchair and it actually made me feel jealous. petty, I know. While my ex was putting my wheelchair in the boot after one meeting, I watched her confidently transfer herself from chair to car and lift her wheelchair into the passenger seat. She had a manual chair (I have a power chair, much heavier) and I can’t use a manual chair, I have tried. People in wheelchairs have differing disabilities.

The book club itself was also really interesting although I did feel like an old lady amongst a group of youngsters.

Book Club Three

After decided to give up on book clubs I was offered a place at an online club. Ah, great. We could do the meeting over zoom and I didn’t have to worry about travelling or coping with my wheelchair.

The first one went well, I managed to join in from my settee as the rest of my family were off doing their own thing. Then, I did a couple from my bedroom so I could have privacy as family members where still pottering around. We have staggered dinner times which makes it awkward too. At normal book clubs I could just say ‘I’m going out’ and that was that. Being at home was different. I was still there, which meant I was still available, even though I wasn’t. This was a common problem, a lot of the other online book club members had interruptions too.

I found that a lot of the members were younger than me. This was going to be a problem whatever. Maybe I could find a ‘grandma’ book club?

After trying for over a year I’ve decided to give up on book clubs. At least I can say I tried, and tried, and tried.

A Few Good Things I got from Book Clubs.

I realise now that I’ve complained a lot about my experiences but they are unique to me. My lack of confidence, my disabilities and my age. (How did I get to be so old, my brain doesn’t agree with this fact at all!)

But there were good experiences. I loved being totally focused on talking about a book we had all read, it was so nice getting other’s opinions. Some agreed, some didn’t. There was lots to discuss and I really enjoyed this.

I enjoyed being pushed into reading books I wouldn’t normally look at twice. I probably wouldn’t have picked up The List of Suspicious Things, which I really enjoyed. Or The Bear and the Nightingale, a completely different book that I wouldn’t have read. There have been other’s that I probably would have read like Remarkably Bright Creatures which had been on my TBR pile for a long time. It was great getting other people’s opinions of these books.

There were also books I didn’t enjoy like the latest one, The Crimson Moth.

Will I give up on book clubs? I don’t know, I might try again someday. (or start my own grandma club, lol)

The book club I joined was called Chapter 25 Book Club which has clubs all over the UK as well as many online clubs. They also do extra events like book quizzes and author interviews. I’ve been asked to join the bonus club for these events but I’m not sure I have the time or energy.